Project exploding cabbage was a complete failure, even sales of excess exploding cabbage “fruit” baskets had slowed to a standstill and the tickling of the flies was as strong as ever. The ruler of the Universe (and the candy store owner) needed to find a new hero to save the world (and boost sales at the candy store) and thus the candy store (and it’s owner) ran a contest to select the next to take the task of saving the world from the flies (and sell more candy). Prospective heroes from the farthest reaches of the universe were brought in (actually the search only went out 30 feet in each direction) to compete in an epic show of heroic feats such as the jaw crusher competition (who can eat the most jawbreakers), the trial of decay (who has the least cavities after eating a bunch of candy) and the test of strength (who can carry the most candy). Sadly all the contestants succumbed to the stresses and rigors of the trials (they didn’t buy enough candy).
The Ruler of the Universe (and the candy store owner) devised a new better contest, one so great and so sure of succeeding that it was guaranteed to get the job done (or it costs double). A massive board was brought in containing the names of anyone deemed suitable to be the next hero (the main requirement was that their names were easy to spell). To select from the wide array of well qualified potential heroes a sophisticated selection device was brought in. The device was a small cylinder with a sharp point on one end and fin-like projections on the other end. In the layman’s eye it may have appeared to be a dart but it was obviously as much more complex device. The “dart” was launched with high velocity, utilizing its unique aerodynamic properties it homed in on the best hero contained on the board (or at least that is what its box claimed). The device struck the board landing right in the middle of one of the hero’s name. The Ruler of the Universe (and the candy store owner) sent to bring in the chosen hero.
