Chapter 26 – Failure

*Happiness cannot be bought, but long term lease options are available

Fortunately for Gorloth the door to the tsetse flies’s stronghold had dried out since the last attempt to evict the flies and thus the knocking did in fact result in an audible sound. Sadly today was acoustic burger night and thus the flies heard the knock but thought it was coming from the basement. This resulted in a mass exodus flies to outside as they were scared of the creepy knocking sound from under them. The flies poured out of the house like ketchup from a glass bottle, which is to say not really at all until Gorloth looked right at the door, and then they surged over him like a tidal wave.
“Help!” cried Gorloth, who had a wave of sea green sailor hydrophobia wash over him “I’m drowning in flies and all the aquatic words that keep surfacing!”
The tsetse flies heard the cries for help and splashed over, however they were all under the influence of acoustic burgers and thus ended up randomly bobbing around the yard in search of the imperiled person. They darted back and forth, up and down but no matter where they looked they heard cries of help in a different direction. Suddenly one of the flies was struck with a brilliant plan, he started to listen where he wasn’t looking and sure enough that happened to be to source of the noise to which the fly went.
“Ahoy! What ails you multicolored sir?” queried the fly as he landed atop Gorloth’s inexplicable briefcase. “Are you in need of some assistance? Perhaps you would like a fresh acoustic burger, it was made with highest quality probably foods.”
Gorloth staggered to his feet, overcome by this fly’s generosity he knew he could no longer use these flies as a dumping ground for unwanted emotions. These flies were people too (for a loose definition of people) with their own feelings and emotions, using them as a way to dispose of unwanted emotions would be such a waste of these flies when they could be used as a source of desired emotions. If people were willing to pay top dollar to get rid of unwanted emotions just imagine what they would pay to be able to buy wanted emotions, such as contentment, generosity, excitement and happiness*.
Gorloth quickly whipped out his proposal presentation and made the necessary modifications to convince the flies that right now was an all time high for the price of positive emotions, and that by selling now they could buy back later for a fraction of the cost thus netting them copious amounts of money that they could use to relocate themselves to a much nicer neighborhood in parallel dimension perpendicular to this one. Unfortunately all the racket of papers shuffling and presentation rehearsing sounded like and oncoming train to the acoustically impaired flies and as flies hate trains that come on they fled back into their stronghold and locked the door leaving poor Gorloth stranded outside in the waning light with only his black fear of darkness to comfort him.

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