Chapter 21 – The Hero Fails

The plan devised by the Hero of the Universe (and candy store worker) was set into action. The cabbages were grown in a secret facility three houses down fro m the flies stronghold (while the facility would be more secretive in a more remote location tsetse flies are notorious for being unobservant and close proximity greatly reduces the transportation costs) meanwhile a team of top scientists were devising a device to place the cabbages in that would look like a fruit basket to the untrained eye (while fruit baskets were available for comparison purposes they could not be used in the final design as it is a fruit basket and cabbages are not fruits)
Despite minor setbacks the project was progressing well, until disaster struck, due to rising cost of ingredients the tsetse flies stopped having optic soup except on special holidays. The plan seemed destined for failure until the Hero of the Universe (and candy store worker) devised an even more brilliant plan than originally devised: the Ruler of the Universe (and the candy store owner) could declare next Snerzo to be “Tsetse fly appreciation day (not a diabolical plot to evict the flies from this universe)”. Due to the flies’ generally trusting nature (and inability to read parenthetical statements) they would suspect nothing. With this new amended plan the Hero of the Universe (and candy store worker)prepared for “Tsetse fly appreciation day”. The basket was created and carefully filled with nitroglycerin cabbages and then cleverly disguised as a fruit basket by placing a rotting banana peel on top. The Hero of the Universe (and candy store worker) took the “fruit” basket to the door of the flies’ stronghold and rand the door bell.
Ding-Dong Splat!
The door fell open like a wet sponge and a tsetse fly wandered into the doorway.
“Ahoit!” greeted the fly “Are you interested in buying this fine encyclopedia set? It’s made of 110% chocolate and in the shape of a vacuum cleaner, every dollar you spend profits us two!”
“Uh” stammered the Hero of the Universe (and candy store worker) “How about you take this delicious looking fruit basket instead of trying to sell such silly stuff?”
“But today is ‘tsetse fly appreciation day’ how could giving us free first be an act of appreciation? It seems more like some sort of diabolical plot to ruin us!”
“Uh this can’t be a diabolical plot because this fruit basket is 100% non-cabbage, just look at the label” said the Hero of the Universe (and candy store worker) pointing out the “No cabbage guarantee or the food fights on us” tag.
“Well if it’s on a tag it must be true” conceded the fly as he reached for the basket, unfortunately his recent intake of optic soup had left him with such impaired vision that when he attempted to pick up the basket he instead grabbed a fistful of leaves form the nearby bush, thanked the basket and slammed the soggy door with enough force to cause the “fruit” basket to explode. The resulting explosion knocked the Hero of the Universe (and the candy store worker) unconscious resulting in missing 5 shifts at the candy store which the Ruler of the Universe (and the candy store owner) declared to be not good enough thus the world was not saved.

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