Chapter 42 – The Answer:

*In reality the swatter costs $19.85 and was only stocked at the store located rather far away.

Cobbler landed in the next city only to discover he was too late, the entire city was completely gone. The destruction was so thorough that there weren’t even any signs that there had even been a town in this location. Cobbler had failed to stop the angry fly mob even though he set out with the intentions of helping them as to stop them when he failed. Suddenly it occurred to him, he was in the wrong location, the city had yet to be destroyed and thus he hadn’t failed to fail yet, he had just plain failed to do what he set out to do. If he was quick enough he could hopefully get to the correct location and correct this failure which would mean he would have to fail some other way which would hopefully mean failure to destroy the city. With renewed hope and loss of meaning for the word fail, Cobbler flew off towards the distant mob of flies.


Joe regained his composure to find they had reached the end of the path and now were at the peak of the mountain. Before them was a large pedestal with the magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers perched atop it. Joe approached and asked his question
“I seek a way to stop the indestructible radioactive tsetse flies, a method to destroy their unstoppable rein of terror. My quest has lead me though great perils to you, the magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers, which I know ask for your aid.” Trembling Joe picked up the magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers and turned it upside down, peering into the window for an answer. After what seemed like at least twelve years (which in reality was only 14 thirds) the ball finally revealed an answer:

“The indestructible flies can only be destroyed with the fly swatter of ultimate power available for $34.99 plus at your nearby world saving supply depot*”

With this new knowledge of how to save the world from the terrible flies Joe was eager to head out to save the world but before he could Chernobyl grabbed his arm. “You can’t leave just yet I have to ask the magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers my question but the pedestal is too tall for me to reach, you must help me.”
Joe didn’t want to wait but felt he must as Chernobyl had saved him from the nefarious puddings of unknown flavor twice and Joe wasn’t quite sure how to get down form this mountain on his own. Thus with an impatient sigh he picked up the magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers and handed it to Chernobyl, who proceeded to ask his question.
“Oh great magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers, I have come with a question of the utmost importance. It has been my quest for years to find the answer to this great mystery. My quest has sent me to all corners of the earth but no matter how far I traveled the answer always eluded me. No matter how the distance I journeyed the answer was always a few steps ahead. But now I come to you, the magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers, to finally obtain the knowledge I seek. For my mission has shown me that only the most wise and knowledgeable thing could possible know the answer. Thus without any delay or reservation I ask my question: Why do all signs forbid flowers?”
The magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers started to shake violently. It rose up in the air and started to glow with an eerie blue light. Suddenly the glow disappeared and the shaking stopped and the magic-8 ball dropped into the hands of Chernobyl. Joe and Chernobyl looked down as the answer slowly rose to the top.

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