Chapter 38 – Troubles

Florg Stunt Cow 2 was greatly saddened happy. His quest to fix his name make a cake had led him to Fred, but Fred did nothing but leave for another dimension and accidently took Florg Stunt Cow 2’s mind with him. This quest seemed hopeless, he now had no idea where he could find someone to aid him. It seemed he would be forever trapped with a name that is broken awesome.
As Florg Stunt Cow 2 flew back home depressed excited about his failure soon to be made cake he was struck with a thought. He could get a new name, granted it wouldn’t be as nice as Florg Stunt Cow 2 but it would most certainly be better than Stunt Cow 2 Florg. Florg Stunt Cow 2 quickly changed directions to fly to the nearest identity shelter to adopt a new identity.


Joe finally arrived at the edge of the great barren ‘forest’ only to find that calling it a ‘forest’ was a gross inadequacy, it should be referred to as a “forest” or a “‘forest’” or maybe even a [quote quote] “forest” (seriously). While Joe was busy making air quotes with his fingers and trying to pronounce italics and parentheticals something was busy watching him. The shadowy figure observed Joe from afar, trying to determine if he should be viewed as a threat, or perhaps lunch. The figure figured Joe’s fingers were filled with fragments of french fries, the figure’s favorite food. Fortunately for Joe the figure was full of fear of being found and thus fled for now. As the figure fled it felt full of failure, it failed to fill its figure and now it was feeling famished for the figure was not too fit and fleeing as fast as the figure could used lots of the figure’s fuel.
Joe wandered around the not-forest trying to find some clue as to the location of the magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers. This task was difficult as Joe’s only directions relied on following trees with green leaves, which this not-forest was currently experiencing a dearth of. This task was made even more difficult due to the plethora of non trees that were currently occupying this not-forest. Joe ducked under an overhanging bus and scrambled over a pile of pens in hopes of getting a better view to be able to see his destination. The view atop the pile of pens was indeed better, but that was mostly due to Joe no longer having to look at the pile of pens, which happened to be quite ugly. From his new vantage point Joe saw that this not-forest was very densely packed with non-trees and any attempts to travel though it would be rather troublesome. Joe felt there must a better way to travel through this mess of non-trees and decided to sit down and think up an alternative. This idea turned out to be a rather bad one, for as Joe sat down on the top of the pile a few pens were knocked out of their place and tumbled down the pile. As they fell they caused more pens to be knocked loose and as the reactions continued the pens became entangled and formed large pen balls which rolled with great speed out in all directions from the pen pile. Joe watched in horror as the balls rolled and bumped into things leaving large ink splotches and thick ink trails in their wake.
From all around the pile Joe started to he cries of anguish and anger. The previous forest residents and the current not-forest residents did no appreciate Joe’s accidental redecorating. The residents crawled, walked, slithered and jumped out of their caves, holes, shelters and huts and started to surround the pen pile. Joe pointed out to the distance at something that was most certainly not a tree and yelled “Hey look a tree!” which distracted the former forest residence with hope of trees returning and the non-forest residence with intrigue as to what this mythical “tree” thing looked like. As the crowd of creatures looked in the direction Joe had pointed, Joe took this opportunity to skedaddle down the other side of the pen pile. As Joe fled he trigged a pen avalanche and was quickly caught up in the wall of falling pens. In a stroke of luck the avalanche threw Joe over a very thick patch of underbrush giving him a wall between him and the angry residents of the not-forest and the previously forest. Joe was not lucky enough to not get completely covered in ink, but this did not deter him from continuing on in search of the magic-8 ball of close-but-not-quite-correct-answers.

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